Dear You,

I am writing a letter of closure because I don’t know what other kind of letter I could write.

I have been left hanging like a dead leaf that lingers without falling away.

I remained in hope and dreamed in misinterpretation.

I put your kindnesses and acts of compassion into the wrong context.

I enjoyed the closeness and touch at the expense of my vulnerability.

I have been thinking and contemplating to the benefit of my heart trying to make sense of the disappointment and resulting loneliness.

Where I continue to stumble is, how two rights make a wrong? I didn’t realize the other variables were part of the equation –

I thought too simply.

I enjoyed the progression. I felt security in the process. The ease was a misconception, I suppose.

If I don’t close this opening then I will continue to struggle. I do not wish to struggle when there is nothing to gain nor dwell with.

To continue to see the potential makes it harder still  to lay it down.        I am not a quitter.

So, is the stop implied? All I have seen are signs – warning, caution, narrow road… but no signals – no end of the road designations – no detours – no directions.

So, I will set a different course and maneuver to a new flow and destination.

I move forward with new enlightenment and self-confidence. I have learned much in this brief travel.

I will take the untainted sweetness and stop by the way for nothing less.



A Stop By The Way – June 2015


Come See What I See

After all these years of keeping the windows to my heart closed and guarded,

I opened them to full open to let in the freshness.

Of course, I could not choose the weather so what elements were present could come through. But, I found that even the rain was refreshing and the thunder was awe inspiring again.

Windows that had been previously shot out and shattered were replaced with what scraps were laying around. These rough repairs were then covered over by a false facade that was not a true representation of who dwelled inside.

Then a painstaking process began to tear out and replace the dilapidated units with the best available. Windows with clear glass, smooth mechanisms, properly weighted, unobstructed and as large as the view I desired.

The days of looking out from openings that has been left splintered with shards as a remaining protection and reminder and warning of hurts…

The days of letting others put their handyman efforts and leftover supplies and colors on the sashes and cases…

The days of the environment having its way, without resistance or suitable protection…

They have all slipped into the past. The past that has seen the light of day, a new view, a new understanding, a new passion and a new hope.

When you came to the window to look in, you came as a picker, Just to take a little.

You could have had it all if you had just come to the door. There is much more to see when looking out than when peering in.

I had it all wrong.

I thought it was about being able to see in, but only looking in leaves hidden spots and unseen corners.

It is about inviting in and together seeing out.

The threshold is the defining line. Do I invite you in? Do you accept and come in?

If you want to know me,

Come sit near my heart a while and look out and see what I see.

A True Reflection?

Where We Now Stand

So, I have been contemplating God’s love this past day…

I have been struck (and somewhat disturbed) at the presumption that we as a whole (humanity) can spin an interpretation of God’s love into a justification for our life choices.

“A bad motive can’t achieve a good end;
double-talk brings you double trouble. “ Proverbs 17:20 (MSG)

I wonder if this falls into the criteria for using God’s name in vain.

Is ‘shouting’ about God’s love to further our causes, choices, justifications (excuses) or laziness a true testimony of God’s presence in our lives or a manipulation to further ourselves?

“Unfriendly people care only about themselves;
they lash out at common sense.
Fools have no interest in understanding;
they only want to air their own opinions.” – Proverbs 18:1-2 (NLT)

How often do we take a morsel from His Word (out of context from it’s surrounding message) and apply it to our needs instead of taking in the full message and ask for our understanding to be expanded to see the fullness of His Word and the manifestation of His Truth in our daily lives?

We were created to be in friendship with God and because of the death of our Savior our friendship is restored…

“For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.” – Romans 5:10 (NLT)

…how true are we to this friendship?
Do we communicate with Him with an ear to hear? Is our hearing conditioned to filter His responses? With what learned form of measure do we attempt to know the height, width and depth of God? Do we dare to measure/equate His friendship by that which we have experienced in the sinful, earthly realm? Measuring His perfect, eternal love against the temporary, earthbound hurts and moments of glee?

Jesus did not come into this world to become like us in sin, He came into this humanity to die in our place so that we could become like Him.

”Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.” – Philippians 2:5-8 (MSG)

The greatest love is willing to die for those called friends.

”No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.” – John 15:13 (AMP)

Should we not be willing to lay down our lives (and our perceptions of what life is supposed to be) for God, our friend?

”And He said to all, If any person wills to come after Me, let him deny himself [disown himself, forget, lose sight of himself and his own interests, refuse and give up himself] and take up his cross daily and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also].” – Luke 9:23 (AMP)

Is this not the basis for the relationship with Him? This puts a whole new reality to ‘best friends forever’.

”Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation.For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” – Romans 5:1-11 (NLT)

There is no need to shout. There is no need to wear your ‘decorated uniform’.
Live out your friendship with God. His Light will shine for others to see, His Truth will ring out for people to hear and His Love will generate harmony and His Peace will prevail within your spirit in every circumstance.
Live in intimacy with Him, your truest friend, and there will be nothing lacking for you to seek filling anywhere else.

“As for me, I will continue beholding Your face in righteousness (rightness, justice, and right standing with You); I shall be fully satisfied, when I awake [to find myself] beholding Your form [and having sweet communion with You].” – Psalm 17:15 (AMP)


Isaiah 58:  6-12, 14  (AMP)

[Rather] is not this the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every [enslaving] yoke?

Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house–when you see the naked, that you cover him, and that you hide not yourself from [the needs of] your own flesh and blood?

and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard...

Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration and the power of a new life) shall spring forth speedily; your righteousness (your rightness, your justice, and your right relationship with God) shall go before you [conducting you to peace and prosperity], and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and He will say, Here I am. If you take away from your midst yokes of oppression [wherever you find them], the finger pointed in scorn [toward the oppressed or the godly], and every form of false, harsh, unjust, and wicked speaking,

And if you pour out that with which you sustain your own life for the hungry and satisfy the need of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in darkness, and your obscurity and gloom become like the noonday.

And the Lord shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not.

And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of [buildings that have laid waste for] many generations; and you shall be called Repairer of the Breach, Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.

And the Lord shall guide you continually...

Then will you delight yourself in the Lord, and I will make you to ride on the high places of the earth, and I will feed you with the heritage [promised for you] of Jacob your father; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.

Lord, take me for a walk.

He took my map.
I could no longer make plans.
He took my supplies.
I could no longer maintain the vessel.
He took my oars.
I could no longer maintain speed.

He took my rudder.
I could no longer maintain direction.
He took my life jackets.
I could no longer maintain safety.
He took the drain plug.
I could no longer stay afloat.
He took  my attention.
I could no longer hold on to false hope.
He took my hand…
asked me to leave the boat.
on the water. 

Ever since you took my hand...

“My choice is you, God, first and only. 
      And now I find I’m your choice! 
   You set me up with a house and yard. 
      And then you made me your heir! 

 The wise counsel God gives when I’m awake 
      is confirmed by my sleeping heart. 
   Day and night I’ll stick with God; 
      I’ve got a good thing going and I’m not letting go. 

 I’m happy from the inside out, 
      and from the outside in, I’m firmly formed. 
   You canceled my ticket to hell— 
      that’s not my destination! 

 Now you’ve got my feet on the life path, 
      all radiant from the shining of your face. 
   Ever since you took my hand, 
      I’m on the right way.”

– Psalm 16: 5-11

I'm on the right way

More and more thankful every day…

Spilling out...


Have you ever felt like a coloring page?
Where your parents/family drew a picture of what you were supposed to be or to fulfill in their coloring book theme and handed you crayons to ‘color’ yourself/picture with?
I have.
when I chose to color my picture differently than they had envisioned and I found it more fulfilling to color outside the lines,
they did not want to hang my picture on the fridge.
Thank you, Lord, that you have given me special people to enjoy my colored picture            (mistakes, corrections and perfections).

Love requires listening. If you aren’t listening, you are loving yourself.

To listen:   to make an effort to hear something

To be informed:   having much knowledge

To be knowledgeable:   alert and fully informed, thoroughly acquainted through study or experience

To have compassion:   deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it

To be prepared:   to put together or make by combining various elements or ingredients

To be ready:   completely prepared or in condition for immediate action or use or progress

To equip:   to supply with necessities such as tools or provisions

To love:  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;   a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship

1 Corinthians 13   The Message (MSG)

The Way of Love

 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. 

   Love never gives up. 

keeps going to the end

   Love cares more for others than for self. 
   Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. 
   Love doesn’t strut, 
   Doesn’t have a swelled head, 
   Doesn’t force itself on others, 
   Isn’t always “me first,” 
   Doesn’t fly off the handle, 
   Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, 
   Doesn’t revel when others grovel, 
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 
   Puts up with anything, 
   Trusts God always, 
   Always looks for the best, 
   Never looks back, 
   But keeps going to the end.

 Love never dies.

 1 Peter 4:8   (AMP)

Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].

John 15:12-14   (AMP)

This is My commandment: that you love one another [just] as I have loved you.

No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.